Poem: Questions & Answers

QUESTIONS

So now, how do you move on from here?

What was once a possibility that you could wager hope against

became an eventuality that would pit your faith against the inevitable passage of time

And then realty abruptly assaulted you

and left you precious few moments to prepare the proper farewell

How does a parent deal with a loss of a child?

How can you possibly explain to others having to deal with a situation

that is so basically contrary to the ordered logic of life we expect?

A natural rhythm of beginnings and endings we can accept

Where the progeny are to be the ones to grieve and eulogize

the passing of their ancestors, not precede them

How does a family recover when its fabric has been torn apart in such a fashion?

How do those who are left behind muster the strength

to close ranks in order to fill the void left by the one who has departed?

How do you begin to attempt to free yourself of the pain and sorrow

without feeling that you are in jeopardy of having to relinguish cherished memories in order to do so?

Will your faith survive when it appears that the hard questions you have asked

and the entreaties you have made have elicited an indifferent response

Or worse, have gone totally unanswered?

Will you forgive yourself the guilt that may visit you in moments of spiritual weakness?

Will you be able to feel joy again?

Will there come a time when the sound of a child’s laughter

will buoy your heart and soul

rather than fill you with melancholy and longing?

Will you be able to eventually let go?

ANSWERS

You need to find the strength to endure In the many resources, seen and unseen

that surround you today and will be there for you in the tomorrows to come

You need to take freely and unconditionally of the love and support people will extend to you offered in the same unselfish vein

You need to let others share in your grief without feeling resentful that they are somehow intruding upon your private sorrow

You need to be willing to accept the fact that your emotions will not necessarily

allow you to control their intensity or their manifestations

You need to allow yourself to be angry, to rage against the unfairness of it all

without concerning yourself with the reactions of others to your outbursts

You need to let yourself cry, allowing the sorrow to pour out from within you

be it in torrents or one tear at a time

You need to let yourself laugh and revel in the fond reminiscences of friends and family

without feeling that somehow you are not entitled to do so

You need to recommit yourself to your family, those immediate and those distant

everyone being drawn closer by your shared loss

You need to reaffirm to yourself the value of your own life, and realize that there are contributions you are still capable of making to humanity

You need to become the archiver and caretaker of memories

without becoming captive to them or finding yourself frozen in time

You need to be able to cast yourself back into the past

without risking paralyzing your ability to move ahead into the future

You will need to be patient beyond what you think you are capable of

if time does not diminish your sorrow at the pace you ask of it

You need to make his resolve, humor, determination and courage your own

You need at some time to say a final goodbye

You will know when it’s time to let go