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  • Writer's pictureDorothy Royal

But The Bald Eagle Isn't Bald

Funny but strange:

1. The last day of 2023 will be 123123

2. On the new Marketplace Health Care insurance application you now have to answer questions in three new categories: “Sex assigned at birth, gender identity and sexual orientation”. Under the question “Sex assigned at birth” the answers include: Female, Male, A sex not listed, and Not sure. Is there another gender that nature doesn’t know about? Under Gender Identity the answers include: Female, male, transgender female, transgender male or A gender Identity that is not listed. What gender is that? Under the question sexual orientation the answers include: Lesbian or gay, Straight, Bisexual, a sexual orientation that is not listed or not sure. None of these questions were required for the last 247 years and we survived. What we need is the answer “None of your business”.

3. Most people don’t realize that Daylight Savings Time is utilized for 8 months out of the year.

4. In response to a California community locating 2 female fruit flies that lay eggs inside fruit and vegetables, 2.5 million sterile male fruit flies will be dropped on a 9 square mile circular area.

5. Did you know that monarch butterflies migrate 2,500 miles, averaging 100 miles a day at elevations of 1,000 feet. A Monarch butterfly only lives long enough to migrate once.

Little did we know, as a society, that almost 100 types of birds had named themselves in such a way that the AOS (American Ornithological Society) has taken it upon themselves to right this wrong in 2024. How dare birds, that travel over the United States and Canada, choose to identify themselves with names that might offend someone. Shameful feathered creatures! How dare we let birds name themselves in the first place! Oh, wait. Maybe that’s wrong. Maybe humans named these birds. Maybe these very birds don’t even know the human names for their species. Maybe this is just a pile of bird poop that doesn’t need to even take up one more minute of your time!

Whose name has already been changed? Back in 2020 the AOS renamed a songbird found in the prairies that had been named after a naturalist, John P. McCown. Why was the name changed? Because Mr. McCown became a general in the Confederate Army during the Civil War. Really people? Is this really an issue?

What names are not scheduled to be changed? The bald eagle. Now this bird is certainly not bald and doesn’t that offend everyone who is bald?

What about some birds that really got dealt a terrible name, what about them? How about the blue footed booby of the Galapagos islands? Nope – keep your name. Did you know in Peru there is a bird called the Andrean cock-of-therock? Nope, they keep their name too. How about my favorite, the Tit Mouse and it’s cousin the American Bushtit? (Canada has the Tufted Titmouse, too) Sorry, your names are staying. Himalayan Snowcock – keep your name. What about the always exciting Satanic Goatsucker of Indonesia? Keeping its name too.

I’m sure the birds of the world watch over the humans with wonder, and shouldn’t they? Look how entertaining we humans are.

Remember knowledge is power, humans take themselves way too seriously, and it is okay to laugh and we should do it more often.


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